I think being a mum is the perfect example for the saying easier said than done!
I will run my usual daily thought process by you and let me see if you can relate.
It's Sunday night. Almost the start of a new week. The week that I will begin my healthy eating of no carbs, no sugar, one wine night only, a maximum of two coffees a day, a morning run, an afternoon yoga session, healthy meals prepared and kid's school snacks and sandwiches ready to pack each morning. The house will stay clean, the washing basket will remain empty and the pressed apron tied neatly around my waist and the bow perfectly puffed in my washed, brushed hair, will reflect the giant stress free, all- together got it smile on my face .... ahhhh definitely happening this week... starting tomorrow!
10pm I am in bed and setting my alarm for 6am, excited for eight wonderful hours of deep sleep and motivated for the start of my 15kg weight loss journey. I think I will journal about that too and quickly write it down on my to do list for tomorrow.
I lay with my thoughts and plans with the faintest smile on my face about how awesome a mum I am. I am so organised, I can't possibly imagine why I haven't been doing this the last eight years!
6am and the alarm rings with the sounds of birds chirping in a rainforest... I hate birds!
My phone falls on the ground and I put my neck out trying to reach over the small snoring body next to me to pick it up off the floor. I press snooze in absolute disbelief it's time to get up already. I went to sleep three hours ago. I have a toddler's foot tangled in my hair and keep getting morning breath waffs from whichever child is next to me on the other side.
The alarm goes off again and that starts a chorus of can we have breakfast, I am starving to death. I roll out of bed and stretch out my back fumbling to the closest and available loo. I will have to run later my back hurts and I have barely slept as I think to myself and then my mood immediately sets in with annoyance of failing my first planned task.
I have had two coffees before I've even showered and while packing the kids lunches, I nibble on last night's left over bowl of chips because I just can't be bothered making breakfast. Dang it, chips have carbs...fail again.
My hair goes in a bun because I can't find my brush and have a giant dread lock underneath my hair that may possibly break anything that attempts to get rid of it.
I put on my gym clothes that seem to be tighter than last Monday and the Monday before that. Does the sun shrink clothes if they are left on the washing line all week?
I am bulging out from all sides and ends but not worried as they will be swimming on me at the end of the week with all the salad and protein meals sucking away those fat cells. The thought lightens my mood up a bit I skip a little down the stairs in my socks, which I then slip on my arse and look for a kid to blame for having carpet.
The kids cheer and dance at the announcement of a lunch order, which I threaten to take away if there is anymore loud noise or happiness! I check the clock and then with confusion my phone because I have somehow lost an entire hour and we are late.
As I load the car, I am suddenly surrounded by screams, tears and a stack of notes. Jack has a topic talk due today and Eva needs to change her readers not having started reading the ones she has. The train album goes off and Jack practises his talk while Eva reads and Franklin chucks a wobbly thrashing in his chair to put the train songs on. At the traffic lights I am filling in fake reading times on her parent reading sheet. Five out of seven looks believable
We arrive at school and I quickly fix what's left of yesterday's make up and brighten my face with the happiest, stress free smile. I laugh, talk and volunteer myself for a million jobs I have no time to do. I am sure they would fit into this week's schedule and I will just take Franklin along because he will happily sit and play next to me.
I grab my third coffee on the way to my weekly grocery shop, in which I have also forgotten my "healthy" shopping list. I am starving so grab a few extra things and something I can eat on the way home. Weirdly my shopping bill is twice the price of last weeks so it must be all the healthy foods I have bought from the fancy gluten and sugar free section. Franklin is on his third treat, which was the result of his biggest tantrum ever and my greatest humiliation. Thankfully Kinder Surprise eggs are more toy than chocolate. Do I seriously care, who am I kidding?
Peppa Pig is put on the TV for the two hours left I have before pick up time and I eat the majority of the shopping as I put it away finished with a toasted cheese sandwich, a Coke Zero and a bar of chocolate. Damn it carbs and sugar!
I have half hour to fit in a yoga session and begin the phone app with five minutes relaxation laying on my back with palms up and eyes closed. Twenty minutes later Franklin has winded me with a miscommunicated wrestling match and after a moment of air gasping and regaining a consistent heart beat from fright, I am on my toes and bolting to a kitchen of astonishing chaos!
There is a pile of Peppa Pig yoghurts mostly half eaten, three empty containers of Up and Go's at least they are reduced sugar, pieces of bread fallen from the bench all of over the floor. The fridge and freezer are open and the pantry has had everything moved in it.
A message pops up from a friend after I finish tidying and I relax thinking it's most likely to organise a coffee date. Hey Kell did you get the balloons and orange T shirts for Harmony day tomorrow? x CRAP CRAP CRAP!!! I look to my blackboard diary and calendar. There it is in orange gel pen.... Harmony Day - balloons, dress in orange. Taking three tired kids to the shops after school, absolute worst nightmare.
We are now home late and both kids need help with their homework. Franklin has attached his tired wild animal self to my leg as I walk and a giant bowl of pasta covered in cheese is served for dinner. Carbs! I measure myself a cup for a healthy portion size and consider wearing binoculars to make my bowl look bigger. It's impossible, so another three scoops go in. It's been a tough day.
8:30pm and the kids are finally asleep. My kitchen looks like I am currently moving into it and the bathroom has been left with obvious clues of a toothpaste fight and the re enactment of the Titanic.
While deciding which to tackle first I lay on the couch and flick through Instagram and there it is. The cherry on top, the thing that makes the sh%# hit the fan and the start of a week long eye-twitch. The post cardio and weights sesh workout selfie with it's very own inspirational commentary of how to make each day count as there are no excuses so find the time and start today. My poor phone is blasted with a line up of middle fingers and a record number of M rated words.
I am done and will just start again tomorrow or next Monday. I close my eyes, sip my extra large wine and tell myself this is life.
©The Realistic Mum
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If you love children’s books then I have written a lovely little book on clouds changing into different shapes that you can find on Amazon and iTunes. Look for the title Look At The Clouds, What Can You See?