I look at this photo of my kids and think definitely one to post on my social media accounts. My smiling, amazing children; looking innocent and perfectly behaved.... every mamma's dream. One to definitely show off to the world. .
For the most part they are amazing, but the hell I went through to get this photo... someone please hand over a bottle of wine immediately!
Social Media; a way to delve into the lives of our friends, keep in contact with loved ones from afar, be social without having to actually be social and the best way to show off our perfect and happy little lives.
Never is anyone stressed, tired, angry, jealous, with flaws or covered in pimples. We have filters for that. And when they don't work, we add filters on filters on filters.
There's those that find humour in social media to display their chaotic life and with arms thrown up in the air figure, whatever, why not share it with everyone else. They get hundreds of likes, lol's and crying with laughter emojis because they have just made everyone feel so normal and somewhat brave to post the same. Does everyone laughing at their disaster moment, make them feel better? Who knows, but at least they are honest hey?
Then there's the people that you particularly search for each day because their life is so inspiring. There they are, exercising AGAIN. You press like and comment, you go girl while shoving in your third Tim Tam on the couch, watching The Good Wife, thinking I should exercise today. They are both loved and hated at the same time. They make you feel motivated for about thirty minutes until you are distracted by your own life and then they sit in the back of your mind making you feel crap. Was it wrong of them to post that? No way! While you may think yes, I am sure we are all pretty quick to post a workout photo when we finally get around to doing it with a there you see? I can be like that as well. I love to exercise! (secretly not)
The third group of people is pretty much what destroys most friendships and is both a blessing and a curse. THE SOCIAL ACTIVITY WITH FRIENDS THAT YOU WEREN'T INVITED TO POST. This is where I wish social media was never invented. While I am writing a pretty honest blog I will also confess that this is where I decide who is best to not get too close to. Sound crazy? Well I have absolutely no intention of connecting with people that whinge and carry on about not getting invited to every event and write sarcastic and cringe worthy comments. It is sad and pretty unfair these days that people like me, who like to please everyone and would hate the thought of making someone feel bad about themselves, asks friends to not post photos up of playdates I invite them to, for fear of offending others. That I now second guess posting photos of my daughter's birthday party I want to show to all my friends around the world because of the fact that I couldn't afford to invite everyone that Eva is friends with feel included. So do I say, stuff it, if it makes you feel jealous get over it and I will risk being unfollowed? Do I not post it so sensitive people that have no right to be hurt, aren't offended and I avoid weeks of being the top of someone's gossip list? When you figure that out, shoot me the answer because I am still 50/50.
Then you get those that love a good cryptic comment. The one's that write in bold caps lock Just got the most exciting opportunity. I'm not saying another word. five hours to go until the most amazing..... Can't believe they just did that. OMG People. Some people make me so angry. Feeling so down today. The most exciting thing just happened..... Oh my gosh, I could go on forever because I see them daily and they drive me up the wall! Yes I just said that out loud and guess what? They annoy everyone else who sees the post as well. So here is my hot tip for you who do that... Either write what's got your knickers in a knot or don't bloody write it at all! Do you know the danger with posts like this and I can tell you from experience? It makes people lose sleep over something they may have done to upset you, if they only just saw you hours before. It makes people worry because they are your friend, which is lovely unless the issue only is you have lost your favourite pair of socks. It makes people talk about you because no one is brave enough to ask what's up or they have and you aren't replying to their comments, which is frustrating. Just think about that one.
There's the group that post a million photos a day and at least ten of the same moment just a different pose or child. To be honest, just pick one for Instagram and chuck the rest in an album on Facebook. Your other kids won't be left out, they can have a turn next time and it fills up a person's insta reel.
Now this one is more about I will like yours if you like mine. My advice to you, STOP THE STUPID HIGH SCHOOL GAMES! It is highly likely that a person isn't liking your photos all of a sudden because they haven't had a spare second or care to check Instagram for a week! This is me all the time. I go through phases where I scroll through Instagram or Facebook, or both, or I just want to take a break and spend hours on Pinterest dreaming over house interiors. Imagine you are the person getting offended. I haven't liked your photos and you are worrying if you had upset me, when all along I am going through a Pinterest phase or giving my kids extra attention. A bit silly hey? You may laugh, but this happens. So don't base your popularity on how many likes you get compared to everyone else. You may have a group of friends like me, who just scroll and can't be bothered pressing on the heart symbol or have time to write a comment. My Instagram checking time is a few minutes before getting out the car to pick up my kids or sitting on the end of my youngest child's bed waiting for him to fall asleep or, yes honest confession here, when I am on the toilet. I follow a lot of people and would probably only get through a few photos, so apologies if I just accidentally miss yours each time based on when I check.
Finally the group that is my personal favourite. They come with no strings attached, no real commitment to regular posting schedules and are and all round mixture. They put up funny memes and tag people that can relate, which I seem to get a lot of. They let you into their REAL everyday life to share every ounce of good and bad. They ask for prayers, support and love, not attention. They cheer on friend's businesses, blogs and achievements instead of the opposite in worry they may overtake the number of followers you have. They appreciate the friends they have and share grateful pictures and comments of the community they have found as a mamma. They don't accuse a social post of friends together being a clicky group or rub it in the face of others in a spiteful way. They inspire, uplift, love, make you laugh, share your pain and in their own subtle and innocent way, tell everyone their family and friends comes first before all the crap. They don't defend or offend and ignore those who do. They post when they want for the sole purpose of wanting everyone to share in that special moment, no matter the cost. They are confident they are loved and go with the flow knowing haters are gonna hate and wouldn't be friends with people like that anyway. These people are my people. They are the one's I follow, I like and comment on. Who wouldn't want them in your social media life?
Whether you are social media obsessed or take it for what it is, be careful of what it is doing in your head. A person's perfect social media highlight reel doesn't make them perfect. Just like the picture of my three kids. It looks perfect to me and may to you, but it came with a bribe of a bowl of ice cream with sprinkles and a few shouts from me to look at the damn camera and stop hitting each other. That photo was over in less than two minutes. It didn't capture a perfectly organised day and in fact, that day was pretty stressful and I was really tired. Behind that wall was a messy house and a sink full of dishes. Behind the iPhone camera was a mum with an unwashed top bun, a pair of trackies and a pj singlet.
Don't look at one photo an assume that is their everyday. The majority of people are just like you and me. We have some good bits thrown in to what is normally quite crazy. It's only those one or two good moments that you are looking at and maybe obsessing over! So don't be too quick to judge what someone is perceiving their life to be like. An organised looking person's giant to-do-list on social media may be done in a month not a day so don't feel bad about only ticking off having a shower and feeding your kids. Chances are they were the only things they ticked off as well!
If you have friends you love that ask you to post or share then help them out. If that's their dream or they need to kick off their business to earn some cash then just think the influence you could be for that person! When did friends stop doing that for each other? It's not hard to press pause on your TV show and quickly write something encouraging to a friend who needs it. There seems to be plenty of time to join in on voicing opinions and controversial discussions. We all post and comment about making our world a more loving place to live in so why not start in your own community?
Make social media a place to enjoy and make change xx
This is not for anyone to be offended by, it is merely a personal opinion to encourage and help support those who find social media a tough world to be part of.
©The Realistic Mum
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If you love children’s books then I have written a lovely little book on clouds changing into different shapes that you can find on Amazon and iTunes. Look for the title Look At The Clouds, What Can You See?