There are just some things that are completely inappropriate for an adult to do, especially a woman! However if kids do these things it usually gets looked over. You might get the occasional judging eye stare or raised eyebrow but nothing compared to if you had been the culprit. So read through the list and see how many you can tick off. Be careful not to judge too harshly I know I'm not alone! ;)
1. Farting - This had to be number one on my list because I personally think it would be the most commonly done ha! There is nothing more embarrassing than bending over to pick up a two litre bottle of milk and hearing a toot coming from your be-hind. You know at least four people along the refrigerator aisle looked your way so subtly composing yourself, whilst dying inside there is nothing else to do than pull out the which one of you kids did that?
2. Burping - Too much diet coke and those soda bubbles want to come out of your body as much as you try and hold it in. Just when you think you have contained it to silent air blowing you are totally busted by the belch. Disgusting mother is not what you want on everyone's mind so you save yourself by looking at your child in front of you and say, pardon you!
3. Missing chocolate - My thing is when a block of chocolate is opened, it needs to be finished there and then or thrown out. Put left over chocolate in the cupboard and tomorrow's healthy eating plan is doomed. Yes I know, I have no self control! So when hubby comes home to snack on some left over pieces and asked where it went, ashamedly my finger points to the three small innocents bystanders.
4. Empty packets - Completely engulfed in my TV show whilst munching away on a bag of chips, a terrible combination especially through suspenseful parts. When suddenly realising my hands are now scraping at the crumbs and the pack has almost come to and end I feel I have no choice, other than owning up, but to quietly pop them on the kids snack table and leave them there to avoid any question it was me. Not guilty!
5. Spills - Here is a time to either cry over spilled milk or blame someone smaller than you living under the same roof. Add a little bit of frustration as your hubby holds up a soggy bill for extra drama always helps.
6. A pass on the errands - After a long day and driving home with a car full of screaming children there is no chance of me turning around to do a forgotten errand. Telling your child they aren't looking very well so better get home will get you out of almost any running around.
7. Get me out of this place - Doing the obligatory visit somewhere? The last place you feel like going or staying for hours on end. When you are a mum, your children are a golden ticket out of any boring event.
8. I can't go - Got an invitation to something that you just aren't up to going to? Hello, you have kids remember!
9. Blown the budget - The dreaded credit card bills sits on the counter and you know what's on it. A bit of a recent shopping blow out and hiding away the clothes you bought deep in your wardrobe will no longer hold your secret. Multiple children come in very handy for these months when you have had to pay for so many things for them. Guilty!
10. Must be the pregnancy - The poor bubba isn't even born yet but the whereabouts of every food item in the fridge and pantry point to the only other person living in the house and that is you. This is good practice for the future so don't feel bad.
Happy Friday everyone! x
© The Realistic Mum
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