This is dedicated to all the new mums who are wondering if their life of motherhood is like everybody else's?... Yes, it is!
You may look at other mums and think they have it altogether and wonder why your brain has turned to mush and you look like you just got out of bed (you may have). Rest assured you are not alone. That mum you just saw looking like she just walked out of a salon may have just gotten her first night's sleep or chose to pamper herself instead of washing a pile of clothes. The mum who always smiles and tells everyone it's a breeze either has an extremely high tolerance level or is lying so no one thinks she's a failure. Then there is the mum who just got lucky, has a really easy baby and stays on top of everything. So before you beat yourself up or judge the mum you just walked past, remember mummy hood comes with a variety of wonderful and interesting elements. I know this because I am all these mums described. Three different babies brought with them three very different experiences and I wanted to share them with you.
Twenty signs that you are normal
1. Sleep no longer has a time frame and won't necessarily happen when the rest of the world is doing it.
2. Your wardrobe will not contain a single vomit, weetbix, yoghurt, biscuit, vegemite, puree, cheese stick, texta and yes let's add it; poo free stained item of clothing.
3. There is no time for a shower, just use a wet wipe.
4. Adopt a beach hair look and tell everyone you use sea salt spray. It sounds better than saying it hasn't been washed in a week and I have no idea where my hairbrush is. If that fails just wear it in a bun for the remainder of your child's first year.
5. When you spill milk or food on the carpet or couch, use a wet wipe. If you have to get up to get them, just rub it in until it disappears.
6. Your pantry is bare and your freezer is full. Nothing like a meal that just needs heating as it's preparation.
7. An audience is compulsory when going to the toilet.
8. Your pram and car seat look like they have just been through a wash in a rubbish tip. You can clean it when you sell it.
9. You high five yourself because you have done all the washing and turn around to find you dropped a dirty sock.
10. The house is clean for the five minutes before your husband arrives home and the glass that gets put in the sink 30 seconds after you finished the dishes gives you a twitch.
11. Enjoying mindless TV shows are about all your brain can handle because you are asleep after reading one paragraph in a book.
12. Your conversations can only consist of the topics The Wiggles, poo, Peppa Pig, The Green Sheep and vomit because you have no idea what else is going on with the world.
13. When you finally have a shower and think you keep hearing your baby every 5 seconds.
14. Your dreams begin to incorporate a baby's cry just to torment you more.
15. When you can love and dislike your child all in the space of two minutes. I wish you would stop being so clingy, I'm not picking you up... come and give mummy a cuddle.
16. Spending an hour marching around the room sshhing and bouncing your baby to go to sleep and then watch them sleep until they wake up and you completely want to punch yourself in the face.
17. Go out for a girls night and spend the whole time talking about your kids.
18. Go on a date with your husband and spend the whole night talking about your kids.
19. Wish your baby would hurry up and walk and then completely regret saying it the minute they do.
20. Chocolate, coffee and wine become a food group. It's called The Sanity Group and it's the biggest one.
Don't worry, a part two will be coming soon!
What can you add to the list?