As I jump (well let's say bob as I have boobs) around my bedroom now that summer is beginning to show itself in glorious form and we can finally feel some warmth and sun, I am suddenly struck with everything else summer brings... legs out!
The winter is of freezing cold days, endless rain and miserable people. Constant tiredness creates cravings for anything that contains fat, carbs and sugar; the three 'pick me up' ingredients. Oh lets add copious amounts of wine into that even though it really ceases to exist going into any season. And summer season, if you live in Oz is the festive holiday season with six weeks of school break, Christmas, New Years and the excuses could go on forever.
So while I have spent the last three months hibernating in my pantry and using any temperature under 20 degrees celsius as too cold to exercise, I'm in pretty bad shape. So I can cheer and scream all I like but I also know what comes with soaking in the summer sun.
You know I could ignore a blog like this and give you the build your self esteem sessions and don't worry, you will always get those from me, But! I am as realistic as they come and yes I am insecure about my body. I have had three kids and didn't grow a six pack whilst having any them. Breast feeding didn't suck my fat away and make me skinnier than I was before I was married. Trust me, this happens to the rare lucky ones and I don't know what I did wrong to not make that list. Oh really, your doctor told you to eat more carbs because you are losing too much weight breastfeeding... seriously walk away from me right now. My boobs didn't go smaller, they just sort of stayed the same size but went from a round rockmelon to something of a bratwurst look alike. I have stretch marks on me that even a google search can't find, so guessing they just ran out of space in the normal areas and made their own home somewhere else. My middle hair parting is looking more like a comb over as I adjust it each day to hide the new grey hair trying to work its way to exposure. Not on your life grey one. I am no stick and I crave the wrong foods, I like my wine and by no means am any sort of gym junkie. I totally wish I was but unfortunately I'm more of a happy to climb into bed and catch up on needed sleep sort. I do my best to eat healthy and work out when I can after a good hour of self talk into doing it. Sometimes I even work myself up for a run and my body is the best encourager for that. My heart races twenty times faster than my feet so I get distracted by my desperate panting for breath and my thighs literally applaud me slapping together at each stride. I would be awesome to pump up any sport's team about to go into a game. If i can get myself to do it, I could get anyone too!
So here we are in front of the mirror in my undies and bra. I'm too scared to take them off incase I cause offence to my poor old mirror. I have a muffin top that could begin its own franchise and thighs that show no signs of creating 'the thigh gap' anytime this century. Lasor is definitely a first priority although some major prep work will have to be done before anyone will have a chance of hair removal anywhere on my body. If it wasn't for my curtains closed, I would require sunglasses to prevent any probable blindness from the shining white reflecting off my body. I know the best type of tan is a fake one, but I think I am going to have to call on all resources for this one. Finally it's time to open the wardrobe and find all the clothes from last summer and pray they can make it up past my legs.
Am I a confident person? Totally! I am social, friendly, caring, outgoing, loud and helpful.... BUT. Like 99.9% of the rest of the female population I have insecurities. I know it's ridiculous following models on Instagram and feeling self conscious walking past a group of 15 year old girls but silly or not, I am insecure about my body. I know those models have the strictest diets and spend most of the day working out. I would too if someone made all my meals and I didn't have to run around after my kids. I know that group of girls are only 15 and yet to experience a 'mum' body after pregnancy and when I was 15, I was half the size I am now, but I only ever had me to think about too. And then something occurred to me....
When I was 15 and sitting in the food court of a shopping centre with my friends, I remember watching mums walk past pushing their babies in prams and thinking I cant wait until that's me, I hope a boy will want to marry me. I remember spending all my money on gym memberships and going clothes shopping every weekend and then walking past all the kid clothes gushing over how cute and tiny everything was and how excited I was to dress my own little people one day. I had time and motivation to change the way I looked if I wasn't happy. And yet here I am. Dressing little people and pushing a pram along the shops filled with kids. The two hours a day I could be working out is now replaced with cheering along the sidelines as my boy kicks his first soccer goal and watching my daughter swim without floaties on and swallowing litres of water because she can't wipe the proud smile off her face. I get to wake up in the morning surrounded by little arms and legs that have snuck in during the night because I keep them safe from the monsters and darkness.
We all have our own insecurities and I have come to terms with the fact that for me, they probably won't go away. I will always want to be smaller, perkier, fitter, healthier, stronger, smarter, funnier and motivated. But the reality is some of those things won't happen or at the very least not straight away. So what do us insecure mummas do? We find ways to manage and control it. Encourage each other as mumma friends, try again after you fail the first or five hundredth time of your diet or exercise plan. Have your insecure moments but have more confident ones. Do things that make you feel good about yourself and teach your kids to love themselves the way they are because I believe if you do that enough to them, it may just rub off on you. Surround yourself only with things in this world that make you feel good and happy and that includes who you follow on social media! Most importantly before you judge or dream over someone who you think looks better than you, remember the chances are they are probably doing the same over someone else or to you!
My challenge to you is do something that makes you feel good once a day and post it on Instagram or Facebook so others can share in and be encouraged to do the same!
Love ya xx
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© The Realistic Mum
P.s I have just released my new children's picture book 'Look At The Clouds, What Can You See?' as an animated iBook on iTunes. I'm selling it for the low price of $2.99 (aud) so grab yourself a copy and enjoy. Click on the link 'My Picture Book' above or the tag below to own your copy x